Flirting with Nihilism

I once held a very pessimistic view on the world. I was a nihilist, because I believed there was no purpose to life. I was a determinist, because I believed the future was predetermined, and that no human action could change the subsequent outcome to any action yet to have taken place. I was an antitheist, because I believed religion was a perverted manifestation of a mass neurological disease.

I have since grown up, of course, but the dark ideology I once held as true remains in my past. And it reminds me that I can be wrong — gravely wrong — about everything I see, think, touch and feel. And it haunts me.

It was then I saw my grades slowly dropping, and it was then my friends began to grow sick of my narcissistic thinking. I remember wondering something had gone gravely wrong, and that I desperately needed to change my outlook on life.

So in the comfort of my home, I thought and considered my perception of the world carefully, drawing maps and charts to organize my ideas. I sat staring at my musings attempting to find any focus, any pattern that could locate the errancy in my logic. The clock continued clicking for hours, and the sound of crickets penetrated my home walls. Where had I gone wrong, I remember asking myself. And then it hit me.

I still believe there is no God, just as I still believe there is no afterlife. I have, however, come to the realization that if this is our only chance we’ve got at living, then we must make the best of it. There is no one to forgive our sins, so we must do good for ourselves. There is no other pleasure outside this world, and so we must enjoy every moment we have. We must cherish our time here on Earth, and hope dearly we have many more days to cherish. Because when it ends, it ends.


10 Responses to “Flirting with Nihilism”

  1. This was entirely made up in my mind.

  2. Samuel Chen Says:

    Hmm, I totally agree with your last paragraph. How this is our one and only life, so make the best of it. But I think it’s safe to say that I’m still a nihilist and happy šŸ˜€

  3. I don’t see how you can be a nihilist and yet still perceive joy in this world. If life is devoid of substance, then how can happiness mean anything? I dunno. I don’t want to attack your beliefs; I’m just curious.

  4. your grade is dropping?

  5. Samuel Chen Says:

    Well nihilism is really just the rejection of objective morality and objective purpose to life. I don’t find it too radical, despite quips from people saying “So murder is okay?”.

    To a degree, nihilism does give one a pessimistic view of the world, no doubt about it. But I still make my “meaning” for life, despite it being fake and really having no meaning. If I recall correctly, I think this might be called existential nihilism.

    So really, to an extent, hedonism is what rules my life. I want to make it as enjoyable/pleasurable as possible. What gives me pleasure in life, makes me happy.

  6. @ bern: Again, this was entirely fabricated. And not to mention, fabricated in the past tense.

    @ SC: I can see where you are coming from, but I still think it’s hypocritical. If you are a hedonist, then why don’t you quit school, do drugs, f*ck prostitutes, et cetera? Again, I don’t mean to attack your beliefs, I just think they are confusing.

  7. Samuel Chen Says:

    No problem, I understand you are just curious.

    Many people get misconceptions of hedonism, that adhering to this philosophy demands that you become a drug-addicted whore-raping (pardon my language, but you understand where I’m getting at) fiend. But pleasure can mean many things, from satisfactions from good, to good sex, to beautiful music, to a good day out. In simple terms, anything that makes me happy. If I remember correctly John s. Mill takes a qualitative approach to hedonism.

    So why don’t I take drugs and quit school? Well because I know the long-term effects will be bad for me. I know having no education will lead to me having a crappy job, and thus an un-pleasurable life. I know sleeping with prostitutes can give me STD’s. I know drugs will screw with my health, bodily and mentally.

  8. Samuel Chen Says:

    *satisfactions from FOOD. Spelling error, my bad.

  9. I think you should take a look at pragmatism. Go wiki for more; I’m too lazy to explain.

  10. Samuel Chen Says:

    “I think you should take a look at pragmatism.”

    –> Hehe pragmatism is big amongst Asian families.

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