Scooby “Doobie” Doo

[Picture of Scooby-Doo.]

I’ve always known the show insulted intelligence. The conclusions given to the mysteries were always flamboyantly fallacious. The dialogues, in an attempt to be both witty and profound, were laughable in their stupidity. What was worse: A talking dog, with the vocabulary of a Pokémon, always ended up saving the day for completely unknown and erroneous reasons. I abhorred the show.

Bored of the indolent animation and bored of the contrived story lines though, I’ve since given up on the show. As the epiphany hit my six-year-old head over, I realized Scooby-Doo was, um, lame.

I remembered today my days squatted in front of my television set eagerly waiting for the next episodes. What shame! If only I had the powerful analytical skills I have today. Sigh.

I have a point though. Not only do I realize the idiocy of the show, I now know the true intent of its creators: To get kids addicted to marijuana!

And why not? The main characters are all hippies from the 70s, an era in which drug usage was common and rampant. Scooby, as he gobbles and pleads for more Scooby Snacks, teaches kids an addict’s life is acceptable. Scooby-Doo even makes references to marijuana when he speaks his own name. “Scooby Doobie Doo”, the kids viewing the show hear him howl.

But therein lies the problem. Kids cannot be expected to treat the respective sides of a television screen as separate entities. What happens when little Jill starts believing it is okay to be a drug-smoking free-loving hippie? What happens when little Johnny not only smokes pot, but also moves on to harder drugs like heroin, cocaine, and ecstasy?

Some would argue that I am condescending to kids, that I am being overly pessimistic about the impressionability of these young, precious minds. To that? How dare they encourage the downfall of America’s children, and subsequently the downfall of our great empire! They must hate America.

Because Scooby-Doo is a hazardous show. It teaches kids bad story-telling. It promotes hard drugs like heroine, cocaine, and ecstasy. And seriously now, who could argue those drugs aren’t bad?!


5 Responses to “Scooby “Doobie” Doo”

  1. Nice writing style. I look forward to reading more in the future.

  2. Wow, a little overboard i think. I mean it’s just a dumb cartoon of a dog with a crew who just happens to solve the mystery, after the culprit is revealed. The whole cartoon is retarded. Scooby snacks are synonymous to addiction? More like teaching kids it’s ok to be obese. Lol jk i don’t know just meddling.

  3. i want to be meddling too!
    “If only I had the powerful analytical skills I have today. ”
    that would make you a COMPLETE loser

  4. @ Jeff: Thanks.

    @ dabigt: You missed the entire point of this post.

    @ Bern: I’m not exactly sure what you’re trying to say. I will say, though, that the line you pointed out was meant to be funny in its sarcastic tone and its self-deprecated motivation.

  5. I see how scooby snacks relate to addiction, but not to drugs.
    Not all “addicting” things have to relate to illegal drugs.
    (ie: food, entertainment, an activity, a person…)
    I think it relates to how kids in our society like to turn on the TV, Playstation, or internet and rot themselves away…

    There are influences much worse.

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