The McCain Campaign is a Comedy Act… duh.

(Inspired by a Roger Ebert article.)

[Image of Senator McCain looking dumbfounded.]

From the beginning, the McCain campaign has made several would-be fatal mistakes. “I’d stay in Iraq for 100 years!” and “Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran!” are both quotes that should destroy a chance at the presidency; however, these actions only sparked more attention, getting more people to listen to what he had to say. When Senator McCain starting releasing ads that compared Senator Obama to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, the old man should have been laughed at for being a slanderous pig; however, his poll numbers only strengthened. Surely someone in his campaign must have objected to such slander! No, it must have been released on purpose to gather more attention!!!

When McCain selected Sarah Palin as his VP running mate, his selection must have been calculated– I mean, she brings just too many talking points to us political vultures. She has five kids; one of those kids is pregnant with a baby with down syndrome; she is a female; she is clueless about the economy and foreign policy (“que es Bush Doctrine?”/”puedo ver Russia!”/”setecientos millones dolares?!”); she’s from Alaska; and she is, quite simply, inferior to other more qualified selections such as Mitt Romney. Also, because of all the media attention McCain has received for selecting Palin as his VP running mate, his poll numbers have drastically improved.

(Before I go on, I must admit my deep, dark, dirty secret: I have no statistical evidence, nor do I have any quotes to prove my position. Indeed, all my arguments are derived from logic and common sense. Because my resolution does make perfect sense. And Americans can believe it.)

I watched the first presidential debate today. It seemed as though McCain was hellbent on attacking Obama, and was often using deeply errant and fallacious arguments. Once again, McCain was intentionally making noise to garner attention. Because he knows that Americans want a bad president.

Case in point: Every time McCain has done something drastically stupid (pardon my French), his poll numbers have drastically improved. This inverse correlation doesn’t make sense, and I finally think I know why. The McCain campaign is a comedy act, just like President Bush’s in 2004. I just didn’t catch on quick enough. Isn’t that funny? Ha ha.

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One Response to “The McCain Campaign is a Comedy Act… duh.”

  1. I would have thought this was obvious: This is satire!

    I know my argument is “fallacious”.

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